On Shotacon and Me

Foreword

Shotacon (ショタコン shotakon), short for Shōtarō complex (正太郎コンプレックス shōtarō konpurekkusu), is Japanese slang describing an attraction to young boys. (The phrase is a reference to the young male character Shōtarō (正太郎) from Tetsujin 28-go (1956).

The abreviation Shota refers to a genre of manga and anime wherein pre-pubescent or pubescent male characters are depicted in a suggestive or erotic manner, whether in the role of object of attraction, or the less apparent role of “subject” (the character the reader is designed to associate with), as in a story where the young male character is paired with a male, usually in a homoerotic manner, or with a female, in which the general community would call straight shota. It can also apply to postpubescent (adolescent or adult) characters with neotenic features that would make them appear to be younger than they are. The equivalent term for attraction to (or art pertaining to erotic portrayal of) young girls is lolicon.

The usage of the term in both Western and Japanese fan cultures includes works ranging from explicitly pornographic to mildly suggestive, romantic or in rare cases, entirely nonsexual, which is not usually classified as “true” shotacon.

[Text mainly taken from the English Wikipedia]

 

My perspective and personal interest

I like shotacon much because it fills a decisive gap in my past, just about the pre-teenage and first teenage, when I felt shame and guilt (also some fear) to express my attraction to older boys and also adult men and my wish to be sexually taken (topped) by them. I liked girls too and, moreover, I had a bestie with whom I often engaged in erotic play – and this implied anal stimulation from both parts – but I was a boy, fully assuming that role and so, when we began to go beyond petting and had some intercourse, I was the top. I also had a younger sister on whom I relied much and to whom I told part of my secrets and wishes. Nevertheless, beyond these two girls, I never dared to expose my wishes; even less come out as gay (beyond some eventual cross-dressing) and seek for male mates who would top me (and being frank, fuck me hard) as I secretly wished, until I was over twenty.

These ten long years of blocking shyness and in fact self-shame, while on the other hand I was intensely sex-driven, often horny and always somewhat frustrated, left a wound that still hurts in my memory twenty years later. Especially because I liked much a schoolmate, who was my best male friend; he liked girls and always sounded quite explicit about this, and thus I never told him a single word about my liking and my feelings; needless to say, I never flirted with him. But from some time onwards, when he and I were around seventeen, my sister began to effectively do this and soon dated him. This was natural and normal, since my sister was very pretty and my friend came often to our home -he even slept there some weekends-. Anyway, the fact is that my sister was a trans-girl (she was not even “trans-” in rigour, because he was only fourteen back then and had not yet begun to take hormones). Being her a genetic boy implied that my friend was taking her anally whenever they began to have sexual intercourse, and this meant my friend had no reserve toward anal sex and, maybe -just maybe-, he would have accepted me as a mate had I told him I liked him much since years before… To conclude this story, my reluctance brought me suffering, frustration and failure, and also damaged my relationships both with my friend and my sister (with her I shared stronger bonds that lasted all her life, but I never forgave my friend.)

Now, coming back to shotacom (and yaoi hentai in general), I wish I had known the reality it depicts so clearly; and understood that I had no motive to feel shame, but pride, to behave sexually in a straight feminine way even if I was not a trans-girl like my sister was (I am now, but this is another matter). I still like to identify with any teen boy (girlish or not) fondling or having sexual play with men (the more manly, the better).

That’s why I post shotacom images on my blogs. Despite nowadays I have nice sex with men, I am fairly well satisfied physically and mentally fulfilled, my old wound has not yet healed and now and then I fantasize being a young teenager being loved by older hunky men who would treat me like a girl –my penis included–.

As for the picture below, it comes from my late sister’s archives (and also a couple of posts), and I find quite moving that I have come to like it as much as she did…, and for the very same reasons (the main one being our identification with Piko: a reality for her in her teens and an image of my longings as a young teen for me).

Best whiles of my life, too - 2

Drawing inspired in Boku no Piko (2006) – the first shotacon anime

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