Makeup and long loose hair help much to look feminine, but I needed, and still need, among other things, to get rid of some excess of muscular volume about the shoulders.
Clearly, these are more bad pics by my couple then (seemingly, not very skilled in shooting with a firm hand). The cutest I was wearing that night –at home, before going out– was a short black skirt (somewhat translucent) with black stockings and super-shiny black flats, but he missed them when taking the photos. Minutes later, I had the whim of wearing a white skirt and flat boots instead. That outfit is what the pictures show, but … let me explain it: my mate said the skirt was too short and showy (almost as much as the previous one) and advised a pair of jeans and a pair of loafers. I followed his wish (and wore pink jeans and red loafers), because I was still mistaking his prejudices, and in fact, non-acceptance of decided cross-dressing, for signs of a likeable masculine dominance. It even turned me on, because I was short-sighted and, yes, quite stupid… (I longed to wear one of those skirts, that night, but needed some support, being them naughty and, perhaps, puzzling in a man –even in a gay man…)
Being submissive, somewhat masochistic and easy-going is often used against me. Also, the shift from being a gay boy (a twink for some) to a hesitant lady-boy (a sissy trap for some others) to a proud and very normal trans-girl, capable to pass in any situation, is very laborious and complicated. Furthermore, many of the gay men I used to befriend and love did not want me to look, even less to be, too feminine… It took me time to understand I should be just feminine and then go with straight men… (But I realize all this should be the matter for another post… So, here are the pictures, painted in deep purple 🙂 )
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